Open Hours

I've been really challenged emotionally lately, and my reaction is to close up all the more. Not always; I've had good days. But it's still easier to close up.

Life wasn't meant to be lived alone. This is something I've been told, believe, and tell others. Yet, I don't practice. I can't believe how closed I can been--not letting others into my life and goings-on. How did the kids everyone called, "friendly" "outgoing" & "open" become a man that is so emotionally alone?

Maybe I am being too hard on myself. Maybe I am not giving myself enough credit. I don't know. It's a complicated thing because in some things I'm open, and in others I'm as closed as ever.

Hopefully I'll have something more cheery to post next time.

why so serious?

I took a deep dive into the past this week. I've read a great deal of blog posts from college spanning over two years. Lots of ups and downs.

It's been a rough year so far. 2010 has delivered quite the one-two punch. I'm going to counseling next week -- my first time. I'm a little nervous, but eager to talk to someone who might know a thing or two about what I'm dealing with.

When did life get so serious?

I feel transplanted from the people I feel comfortable opening up to and plopped amidst people who want me to be open with them. It's a two way street.

I miss the humor that saturated my life, conversations, and thoughts.